Input Poll: Linking to External Wishlists

[greenwitch.livejournal.com]

Alright guys, get ready for the controversial topic most of us know we've had trouble in the past with...

Should we allow the linking of external wishlists?

For those not familiar withe issue, what it comes down to is that some people feel that it's not fair that people include links to other wishlists (i.e. Amazon, ThinkGeek, HotTopic, BestBuy, etc.) in their posted wishlists, because in a way it could be seen as trying to squeeze in an extra few dozen wishes when the limit for the community is 10 items. Other people feel that since it's up to an individual's discretion as to whether they want to grant wishes or not, posting links to multiple wishlists doesn't matter in the end. Because the moderators are split on the issue, and because last year we didn't implement a rule regarding this issue until after the community was already open for posting (and that caused some people to get upset), this year we're jumping the gun and going to put it up to the community well in advance. ETA: Please note this only affects wishlists posted/linked to this community. If you wish to participate in the meme outside of the community, you are free to include whatever you want and do not have to abide by community rules.

So please choose one from the selection below. If you'd like to elaborate on your choice or voice your opinion on the matter, please do so in the comments or e-mail wishlist.project (at) gmail (dot) com.

[Poll #1063675]

Comments

[amishlurker.livejournal.com]

Nope, I don't like the external lists.
My reasoning is that this community -- at least as I perceive it -- is not an opportunity to be greedy, but to offer ourselves and others an opportunity to give. Too often, especially as the holidays near, people join with "Oh yeah -- here's the stuff I want!" but give no thought to the second part, with fulfilling others' wishes. We have lots of generous persons on this community, but we also have quite a few who are only here to see what they can get. When someone posts a link to Amazon or elsewhere (unless it's an example of a specific quirky item rather than a long list), I move on to the next poster.

[greenwitch.livejournal.com]

Yeah, I think a lot of people feel that way, especially because the meme started off as a real feel-good thing, but then as the community got bigger and bigger (especially after lj_spotlight last year), some people started thinking of it as more of a request list or gift swap, which it isn't. But a lot of people also feel that people can wish for whatever they want -- it doesn't mean that they'll get it, and if they post links to lots of outrageous things, most people (like yourself) will probably pass over it.

That's why we're voting on it :)

[http://users.livejournal.com/chocolateheart_/]

Never thought of that till now, come to think if it though, posting such stuff seems quite like 10lists of 10wishes (which isn't really 10 wishes anymore, is it) when people do stuff like that. So, uhhhuh. But I'm not really against against, just that its not exactly nice. So, yup.

[queenallie03.livejournal.com]

I think if they want to put an external link to a wishlist they should use it as a way to say what they like.
like if you have Books listed as a wish then you can link to your amazon wishlist and say these are the kind of books I want so people can see what kind of books you like and they can have a good idea.

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

I agree with queenallie03. I iunderstand people perceiving it as an attempt to be greedy; it could easily be misconstrued thus.

But the thing is that people grant what they feel like granting; it's their prerogative. I'm personally grateful for anything I get. And my Amazon.com list isn't me telling them, "Oh, I absolutely have to have this; buy it for me!" I'm not that kinda girl, and I never have been. It's just a way of saying, "Here is what captures my attention, what fascinates me. It's up to you what you do with this information; you're not obligated to act on it."

[cyprinella]

This is exactly my feeling on the subject.

[choccies.livejournal.com]

I am with some of the others on how there shouldn't even be any external wish lists. For me it seems so against the spirit of the whole thing. When I came to the comm it was because I wanted to see if people had the same kind of wishes as me and that we could share in the silliness of it all (ie: getting an extremely attractive boy friend, or some thing equally girlish)

I feel that asking for letters, and cards, and pen pals are an awesome thing to do because they help bring people together. But for the most part just buying someone something they want off the internet does not build the same kind of bond.

I came to this comm looking for people who loved the season as much as me, and could give me hope that I wasn't alone in wanting some things that they couldn't give.

[lost-cosmos.livejournal.com]

i voted for the one list option ONLY because i believe in people's good spirit more than the greed. that doesn't mean that i am not realistic and don't know that it exists and all that [like its been mentioned]. however, sometimes there are people who want to give that general idea of things they like rather than a specific thing, or who would be happy just to get anything at all so a general wishlist [such as from amazon who do have the new/used option] can post just it saying anything from it and ONLY that as their wish is a nice option.

again there could be people out there who are just starting out in a new home without any support too this season who could have a sort of registry someplace as well and could post that list. i think that those kind of "lists" should be ok.

[rain-oubliette.livejournal.com]

I think some people abuse the external wishes. If the person needs something, from a specific place, ok - use the external link.

But, to be honest, those who use "buy me this" and a specific link, I skip over them. It kind of spoils the moment/season. Part of the fun of getting a gift is not knowing what it is. And part of the fun of giving a gift is to make someone happy by giving from your heart, not the mall!

[pat-a-bear.livejournal.com]

In general, i don't look at the external links.
I mainly focus on what's actually on the list.

torn

[star382000.livejournal.com]

I'm torn and have two views on this

It seems a bit out of the spirit of the whole community to me, the spirit of giving, whereas posting the wishlists seems more in the spirit of "what can I get".

However, if someone does post a wishlist hoping that by chance someone may purchase one of the items on it and not meaning to take advantage of the limit loophole, it can be very nice and uplifting to have those filled.

Correct me if I'm wrong, is something like the following not allowed?

"Wish #7: hair accessories such as scrunchies, chopsticks, claws, and bobby pins"

If that is allowed, which I think it is if I remember correctly, it has the potential to be more than one individual item, but not necessarily, same as linking to external wishlists.

If it is allowed, I would much prefer it to be with a limit but that each wishlist should be it's own numbered wish (i.e. "Wish #7: Anything from my Amazon wishlist, Wish #8: Anything from my Best Buy wishlist, etc.)

[faefall.livejournal.com]

I think the wish lists are fine. Actually I like them because I can go to that wish list and if I happen to have something from it that I bought at one time I can pass it on to someone else. (Also, Amazon lists give a person a good idea of the TYPE of items people like.)

[outoftime.livejournal.com]

This is exactly my thinking - I often go to people's wishlists and see if they want something I don't really need/want anymore.

Also, let's say someone says "DVDs" as what they want on their list - that's pretty vague. Do they like horror movies? Have they seen this particular film I have to send them? Would they even like it? By having a list of what DVDs they want, I can not only get a sense of what they like, but potentially give them what they want.

[adelheid-p.livejournal.com]

I feel, for the most part, that it is risk of being ignored or not getting anything that the poster takes and it is the choice of those who view these wishlists as to how they react, if at all, and if they decide to ignore or view/purchase a gift from a wishlist from a commercial site. Giving is all in the choice and the spirit of the season. The risk is that this becomes yet another materialistic community but it is up to the community to determine if that happens by either encouraging (by buying gifts from these lists) or discouraging (by not buying gifts from the lists).

[neferde.livejournal.com]

I don't like linked wishlists simply because they come off as crass. The way I see it is the difference between "I'd really like such and such and here's a link for more information on it including price if you're so inclined" and quite another to say "Just go see my wishlist, I can't be bothered to write out a proper list for the community." The first one I'd at least look at, the second I'd skip right past without a second thought.

There's also the matter of linking to an external webpage for those people without fast internet connections. If someone just gives a link to their wishlist at Amazon, someone who's on 56k or slower (and yes, there still are people like that) won't click on the link because of the time each link will take to open. That means there's that many fewer chances for the receiver to get their wish and fewer chances for the givers to participate and that goes against the whole holiday giving spirit.

[fallenkitsune.livejournal.com]

I never even knew there was a issue with this but i voted for 'Yes but only one ...ect ect.. ' Normally i'd look on the list and see what they like and see if i have anything similar. I do have a wishlist on Amazon.com and most of whats on it is books and music. If you accept links then make a rule stating something like... 'if posting a amazon wishlist link there can only be so many items on said wishlist..' which might deter people from abusing it. Also having people say that something was gotten from it too might be a good idea but i'm not sure.
Providing a list or link doesn't mean you'll get anything it just gives the person hope that something might be sent to them.

[but_can_i_be_trusted]

~~Providing a list or link doesn't mean you'll get anything it just gives the person hope that something might be sent to them.~~

Exactly. And I very much resent those of us with an Amazon list being refered to as "crass", as a previous comment put it. I forget who that was, but I dislike the assumption that I must be immature and grabby (particularly given that I'm a scant few years away from turning thirty).

If you're ignoring someone's external link because you simply can't afford to buy anything off of it (as I admit to doing), then that's one thing. Ignoring a person's entire wishlist because you think they're "crass"...hmm...that sounds like the pot calling the kettle black to me. I thought the point of this community was for everyone to have a happy holiday--not to discriminate.

As I said in my own comment earlier, and to echo the comment that I'm replying to, I'm just glad to get anything; if it comes off of my Amazon list, fine; if not, I'm still happy and thankful.

Ultimately, however, I trust the moderators; they're doing a great job of running the community, and I, for one, have had a fantastic time here, with or without an external link. It's their decisions I trust, not the accusations of those who think the rest of us are just here for whatever we can get. I plan to remain here and do for other people whatever is possible; I'm not here to gain by it.

There. It wasn't my intention to offend anyone; if I have, then I apologize. Some things, however, needed to be said. I'm sure there are some here who are greedy, but please do not discriminate against the rest of us because of it. It's very hurtful.

[twilight2000.livejournal.com]

I figure if they post it and they get ignored, they'll do less next time :>. I tend to skip right over those, but I don't see it as somsething to police. I'll work with those who have posts that touch me in some way.

[red-trillium.livejournal.com]

I'm torn, on one hand yeah, if someone wants to post their external lists knock themselves out, but I usually skip them personally.

On the other hand, the rule is 10 items (or less?) and if someone has 15 items on an external wish list as one of their wishes, plus another 9 it's not really fair to someone who followed the community rules and kept to the 10-limit rule. Although, saying that a list that includes say "Books" as a list with alink to a list to show what kinds of books the person likes??? I'm not sure. I think yes and no on that, but "no" on "anything from my external wishlist" as one of their wishes.

One thought: if wish lists are allowed, maybe in the FAQs or community info or where ever having a note that many members expressed that they skip over external lists so external lists are at the poster's discretion.

Please allow this!

[ladycaviar.livejournal.com]

I particularly like the anonymity factor, the way that I don't have to reveal my name and I don't have to find out the name of my recipient with an Amazon or similar wishlist. I feel much safer this way. I am very uncomfortable with exchanging real-life contact information over the internet, no matter how "safe" the community seems.

Also, the ease of the process is very appealing to me. One or two clicks, and I have brightened someone's day. When I have to find time to go out and actually mail the items, the chances of completing my philanthropic endeavors declines exponentially and my holidays are diminished by that much. My time is not always my own.

In the case of Amazon and books especially, I adore the chance to browse through more opportunities to give, and the range of ways to do it.

Re: Please allow this!

[greenwitch.livejournal.com]

Anonymity and safety of your personal information is a very good point.

[angelic-candy.livejournal.com]

Well, I'd say it's not that much of a big deal to post external wishlists. You could write examples for your wishes like:
8. books (like: 1984, wraeththu, a long way down, a slave no more, book of the dead, playing for pizza, anything from anne rice and so on... )
So you'd point out some things you like in order to get your wish more precise while pushing in some other wishes.
Plus wishlists often give away a little bit more of the likings and dislikings of the one, who's coming up with the wish so we have a better chance to find out, whether the present, we want to make would fit the person. If not, we could give it to someone else and rather come up with something more fitting.
In the end it's up to the one giving which wish he/she wants to fulfill so one can ignore wishes one dislikes. And as long as posting external wishlists is allowed everyone has the right to do so, so I don't think it's unfair. It's way more unfair if someone's fulfilling a ton of lists while the own wishlist of that person is getting completely ignored.

[gi-janearng.livejournal.com]

I voted that I would rather not see external links at all. If a person really wanted those items off their list, they could take the time to just write them out as their ten items instead of linking and then coming up with nine more.

I also have the opinion that if the moderators do decide to allow linking to offsite wishlists, that the members of this community will use their sound judgement and decide if that's the best route for them to go personally and if it is in the spirit of the community, rather than just making it a free for all. Links like Amazon.com aren't places that just sell books. If someone wants to post their list and it includes a high-priced item, I would hope it's because they truly need it and not just because it's something they want.

[outoftime.livejournal.com]

Keep in mind that some people, myself included, keep a Wish List to share with everyone - friends, family, this community. So if I have a high-priced item on the list, it's not because I expect it from someone here - it's because that list is not meant solely for this community.

I don't know, in my opinion it kind of seems (and not just by you) that people who use wishlists as one of their wishes are being vilified as greedy and opportunistic when I don't really think that is fair. I mean, how is me linking to a wishlist with some DVDs/Books/CDs on it any more greedy than someone asking for an expensive item as one of their wishes or, as many people did last year, actual money?

[quilladdison.livejournal.com]

I think they shouldn't be allowed. If someone really wants an item on an external wishlist, they should be permitted to post a link to THAT ITEM only. But posting a link to an entire other wishlist seems greedy to me.

[thealisonbailey.livejournal.com]

If someone really wants an item on an external wishlist, they should be permitted to post a link to THAT ITEM only.

My thoughts exactly.

[sheryll.livejournal.com]

Fwiw, I've been around this community for a couple years now and have no problem at all with people posting links to their wish lists on Amazon or wherever. Yes, I understand that some members of this community see it as a grab for whatever the poster can get. I don't see it that way.

I think posting an external link is a great way to show people what kind of things you like. Let's say I post on my wish list that I want books. Suppose another member wants to send me a book but wants to do so anonymously. How, without emailing me or posting a reply to my list, will they know what I like? Keep in mind that the part of the fun of this community is granting anonymous wishes. That's also why I always post my mailing address with my list. I prefer surprises!

To give a personal example, I think I always post "anything from Lush" as one of my wishes. I believe I have included an external link in the past. Not because I want lots of Lush stuff but because not everyone is familiar with the company. Does this mean I want a high ticket item or many things? Not at all! I'm happy with a $5 bath bomb. In fact, I love the low ticket items. But someone unfamiliar with the company doesn't know Lush from a hole in the ground.

No one is obligated to click the links. When pressed for time, I don't always do so myself. And I respect anyone else who can't be bothered. Some people appreciate the little bit of extra information or ideas that links can provide. I vote in favour of external links for precisely this reason. Oh, and for the added help it gives members who wish to gift anonymously.

I would, of course, respect any decision made by the mods. The most important thing about this community is the spirit of giving.

[starfish327.livejournal.com]

i understand the apprehension to linking to outside lists, but at the same time no one is obligated to grant any of those wishes either. so i guess i'm just apathetic because it's not a guarentee that those individuals are going to get everything off their lists because they post it.